Just sian..

i don't really know why i keep coming back to the blog.. but i guess its just one way i can really just express myself without really talking to anyone else cuz sometimes its just so hard to talk to anyone else about problems.. although i know ppl do read it.. what i feel inside now i just can't really explain.. just feel so uneasy so sian just soo sian.. just need somewhere to go and scream my lungs out.. sometimes its painful to know when u roughly know what someone thinks good about you and then changes that stance just because he doesn't really like that idea.. i'm just kinda screaming in my head right now..

why why why why..... why must it be that way.. all i think i can do i continue on with my life.. why can't i have just enough money on my own and do what i want and not depend on anyone else.. don't i make sensible decisions on my own? don't i take care of myself properly? aren't i a responsible person on my own? haven't i done enough to prove that i am capable of making sound decisions? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!

i miss the totally bo chap side of me.. I don't really wanna say all these but i just think i should really let it out or it will just hurt so much more on the inside.. sorry if its just so emo.. not something i really wanna be.. can't stand this side of me..

wats up..

Hey to the unknown readers out there.. lol...

so far this has been a decent week.. balance of playing and studying.. doing work.. meals and all that.. its been excellent.. although i really haven't been home much cuz there really isn't very much to do at home so going to josh's house to cook and enjoy company is the best remedy.. haha.. i miss going out to the cinemas to watch lots of movies.. its sooo expensive over here.. sucks man.. would love to hang out with amelia more often.. but she seems busy.. and sometimes i am too..

just a random note.. lol.. i think in life we must learn to live life and not let life live us.. we must make the situation better as the situation will never get better on its own at all.. live life to the fullest.. don't try to resist what is put right in front of you.. if it doesn't happen for you try and make it happen.. thats all you can ask of yourself.. its like money.. if you don't work money ain't just gonna drop from the sky and into your lap isn't it?

Till next time..
Adam

Just felt like blogging..

Hey hey...

its been an interesting week so far.. cooking dinners and enjoying company.. but i guess it still doesn't beat being hom eback in singapore with yenlee and family.. i still would have loved to stay at home after such heartache.. but like what i learnt from max truely at the first real cell of the semester was really not to live in the past.. plan for the future but look at the now.. i usually don't think of the past that much cuz i know that it is absolutely over.. but i really can't help but look at what happened just last semester.. it still really hurts.. but i'm really looking at right now what i have.. a super supportive girlfriend and family.. they truely mean the world to me.. what else could a person ask for? i'm also really grateful to all the awesome friends and cousin that i have here.. they make life so much easier over here.. what would i do without em? a family away from home..

Liverpool has been my favourite team for a really really really long time.. i believe since around the time that ian rush retired which was in 96.. what the hell were they doing last night man... ARGH !!! can't even beat a middlesbrough side which has not won in 3 months.. wth.. what was rafa thinking.. putting skrtel on the right when carragher should have been there.. babbel the useless player he keeps playing.. what does he see in him !!! i think the premiership is gone.. we're just a different in EUROPE !!! cull the giants.. lose to the small..

Till next time..
Adam

Sian...

Haiz..

i think i'm just doing this cuz i'm bored and i'm kinda depressed... not doing well has its repercussions.. haiz.. can't stop thinking about failures... ARGH !! anyway i guess its a new sem a new start.. to do things better for myself.. to focus.. still hurts to think about it.. can't really think of what else to say other than ARGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Till next time..
Adam

I'm Back

Hi everyone.. i don't know how many ppl would tune back in to this blog cuz i haven't blogged in such a long long time.. but i'm back.. cuz i'm back in perth.. and i guess it gets very boring again and i've got time on my hands to do such things once again.. lol.. anyways i had the best time in a long time during my holidays.. i didn't have the best time receiving my results.. nvr expected such heartache.. but anyway its a new semester so i'm gonna be working doubley hard to improve them greatly..

going back to singapore i found really good friends back there.. those like Vic, Garreth, Vera and Josh.. Even Edwin.. Vera's very long time friend.. it was so good going out for movies, supper and dinners and i swear i've never watched so many movies in such a short time.. catching almost any other movie i thought i liked.. i really enjoyed seeing my family and of course yenlee all over again.. it was such a good feeling.. not feeling as lonely as i did in perth.. during my holidays i went to beijing and harbin in china.. it was sooooo cold.. omg.. went to harbin and the weather was perpetually under 0 deg celcius.. my mum even got frost bite when we went up the mountain.. it was minus 30 i think the dao you (Tour guide in mandarin) mentioned.. going to beijing and bargaining was such a fun thing too.. ahaha.. all the food was so damn good.. just popping into the 小吃( little eateries) was cheap and tasteful..

i think the last day before i came back was really one of the best i've had.. spending valentines day with yenlee.. we really spent a whole day together enjoying each others company and i swear i really love her lots.. someone i'll never give up for any other girl.. other than maybe my mum or sister.. valentines day wasn't the usually expensive things cuz but i really loved the day.. spending time with her time flew past.. which i didn't really want it to end..

and then the day came when i had to come back to perth and that was on a sunday the 15th of feb.. I felt so lost when i was coming back to perth.. i don't know if i will be able to do it all over again.. when i left for the customs i gave my mum a hug.. and saw my mum crying and then i started to cry.. which i think i just didn't want to leave home again.. i don't think i've ever been so emotional in such a long time.. i waved mum good bye and walked in still crying.. omg.. and aft i had stopped my father had just reached singapore from a flight from india and went to meet with me near the gate.. when i saw him i just felt i can't let him down again.. all the money he's spent on me.. just can't let him down.. i shall just stop here and stop blabbering and just work hard..

Till next time..
Adam